heavy

my heart is heavy with emotions right now. weighed down by everything and nothing.

anger
resentment
grief
sadness
fear
loneliness
pain
truth
frustration
questioning
doubt
anxiety
worry
stress
defeat
failure
crushed beyond repair
lack of hope
no desire to go on
dead
remembering
clinging to promises knowing that i will surely die otherwise
comfort
more questioning...why? how?
knowledge of truth
peace
choked joy, trying to surface
security
reverance
believing, yet not understanding
desiring His ways over mine
love
forgiveness
humility
relentless passion
finitude
trust
naiive
craving more truth
contentment
gratitude
peace


all at the same time, all swirling together, all vying for my attention. oh GOD i need you!