one day

it's there, written down,
all the answers in the book
the satisfactions to life's questions
repeated and restated
don't know how many times i've asked the same ones
don't know how many times i've been given a no
but i'm told to keep pressing, keep pushing, keep praying
where do i go, where do i start
[or rather, where do i pick up where i last left off]
funny thing is, i know many of the answers
but they don't make sense
and i'm left sliding down again
bruised knees and wet eyes
begging for what i both know and don't have a clue
i am sand stuck in a bottle
shaken and tossed about in the ocean
waiting to rest upon a forsaken island
to be opened and read and taken for what i am
poured out again with the rest of the khaki grains
are these dreams not compatible with reality?
will the summer fruit not be ripe until winter sets?
i tremble, yet not as i should
the day i bury my head in fear will be the one in which the golden gate is finally unlocked
and i won't be able to bear the sight of beyond those closed doors
for the lack of good within this rotted soul
yet deliverance will be mine, when i least deserve it
and the broken shards of glass will be fire-blown into something precious.

remember this dead man, oh God, and breathe life into that which so easily loses its reflection of you.

tonight

my heart is so proud
my mind is so unfocused
i see the things You do through me as great things i have done
and now You gently break me, then lovingly You take me
and hold me as my father and mold me as my maker

i ask you, "how many times will you pick me up, when i keep on letting you down?
and each time i will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abound?"
and you answer, " My child, I love you
and as long as you're seeking My face,
you'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace"

at times i may grow weak and feel a bit discouraged
knowing that someone, somewhere could do a better job
for who am i to serve You? i know i don't deserve You
and that's the part that burns in my heart and keeps me hanging on

i ask you, "how many times will you pick me up, when i keep on letting you down?
and each time i will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abound?"
and you answer, " My child, I love you
and as long as you're seeking My face,
you'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace"

as i walk with You, i'm learning what Your grace really means
the price that i could never pay was paid at calvary
so instead of trying to repay You, i'm learning to simply obey You
by giving up my life to you for all that You've given to me


laura story
"grace"