blackberry tears

there are certain people in the world who live in a [mostly] extreme sort of way. they fight and climb to the heights of mountains, where nothing can deter exuberance and victorious joy, but these same people also battle forceful emotions in the pit of dusty, brown deserts. does this make them volatile and moody?--one may ask. perhaps, but not necessarily.

and yet, why am i at war inside? why does my mind become a tangled confusion when i determine to organize its shelves?

on the one hand, the mirror reveals a selfish, stubborn, independently-cold heart. fear pushes its way through the door, and meddles with several of the once-clearly marked shelves. i thought i was fine, i thought i had won....[she whispers, then collapses to the ground sobbing]...what's happening? have i disappointed him too greatly this time? will he still take me back? you.must.let.go...to all you have ever wanted or loved.

the mirror discloses such a hideous x-ray, that she wants to shatter the glass to rid herself of the evidence. but hidden deep in the secret chambers of the heart, there was placed a gift. and at times, though it seems so minute, it is the only treasure to which she clings. the treasure of faith. now, faith is the assurance of what is hoped for--the certainty of what is not [yet] seen. and she knows that some day the truth will be seen, but the day will not be unveiled before its proper time.

so while the confusion and the swings of joy and fear continue,
while she desperately tries to sacrifice herself on the altar--
as she has been commanded--
she walks forward, though blindfolded by naivety,
yet with full confidence that her pathway is secure
following the still, soft voice of the One she loves dearly.

H

advice for a 4th grade teacher.

[from the current 4th grade class]:

"Here is some advice about Fourth grade. Fourth grade is where kids mature and sometimes immature. If we are too immature, we change cards."

"On Mondays and Fridays, it is very loud because of high school chapel."

"A word of advice is: Once in a while make silly faces to make the kids laugh."

"Sometimes kickball gets out of hand."

"4th grade is a blast...you will not be bored."

"When the overhead gets too hot it turns off."

"When your class is being bad, take away minutes from recess one by one."

"Here, teachers teach kids in mind and soul. While a teacher, you may have to teach some things more than once."

[after giving me advice on birthday parties and recess times] "That is how we do fourth grade."