my heart is heavy with emotions right now. weighed down by everything and nothing.
anger
resentment
grief
sadness
fear
loneliness
pain
truth
frustration
questioning
doubt
anxiety
worry
stress
defeat
failure
crushed beyond repair
lack of hope
no desire to go on
dead
remembering
clinging to promises knowing that i will surely die otherwise
comfort
more questioning...why? how?
knowledge of truth
peace
choked joy, trying to surface
security
reverance
believing, yet not understanding
desiring His ways over mine
love
forgiveness
humility
relentless passion
finitude
trust
naiive
craving more truth
contentment
gratitude
peace
all at the same time, all swirling together, all vying for my attention. oh GOD i need you!
Monday, June 29, 2009
psalm 119: tet
You have dealt well with Your servant, O LORD, according to Your word.
Teach me good discernment and knowledge, for I believe in Your commandments.
Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep Your word.
You are good and do good; teach me Your statutes.
The arrogant have forged a lie against me; with all my heart I will observe Your precepts.
Their heart is covered with fat, but I delight in Your law.
It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes.
The law of Your mouth is better to me than thousands of gold and silver pieces.
Each of these verses (119:65-72) begin with the hebrew letter Teth, but i wasn't able to post it in hebrew to show that.
Teach me good discernment and knowledge, for I believe in Your commandments.
Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep Your word.
You are good and do good; teach me Your statutes.
The arrogant have forged a lie against me; with all my heart I will observe Your precepts.
Their heart is covered with fat, but I delight in Your law.
It is good for me that I was afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes.
The law of Your mouth is better to me than thousands of gold and silver pieces.
Each of these verses (119:65-72) begin with the hebrew letter Teth, but i wasn't able to post it in hebrew to show that.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Grace
Grace is 8 or 9 years old. She doesn't have any brothers or sisters. She has medium length straight brown hair and a shy smile. She's in my 3rd grade Sunday school class. And she's about to lose her daddy.
Little Grace's dad had 2 massive strokes, 1 right after the other, about 2 weeks ago and had to be induced into a coma because of the huge amount of blood resulting from brain damage. I don't know all the correct terminology, but I was told that Grace's mom is going to have to make a decision really soon of whether or not to pull him from life support.
My heart just ached for Grace when I heard that.
On Sunday--Father's Day--Grace showed up with the other 3rd graders. During the morning, as we moved rooms from the memory verse to singing to a Bible story lesson to a craft, we talked about God's power and how we can resist our sin and our adversary the devil by trusting in God's strength. Jesus is our Comforter and our Protector when difficult situations around us seem impossible to escape from.
I noticed Grace was holding a homemade card and I asked her about it. She said another little girl in the class had made it to give to her daddy who was sick, but not til yesterday did I learn more details of how serious it was.
What a precious blessing Grace's mom has in the form of her daughter. A beautiful, sweet, gentle, and caring daughter. A little girl named Grace. How fitting, as this woman is losing her husband, being left to care for their only child alone. (Grace, apparently, was a miracle baby because her parents couldn't get pregnant for the longest time, and her parents are in their 50s). But the point is that God is the giver of all grace, and he has given much to this hurting family. This is probably one of the hardest things they have ever had to deal with in life so far (especially for a 9 year old), and yet our Father in heaven promises to never leave our side and to always be there for us in times of trial.
Father...be ever-present as Grace loses her earthly father. Keep her safe in your arms and comfort her little heart as her mom tells her what's going on with daddy. Bless this family with your grace and your peace that goes beyond what we understand. Let them rely on you to sustain them, and comfort them with your Word the way only you can. Remind us to live each day, each moment for you, since we never know when you will take your children home.
Little Grace's dad had 2 massive strokes, 1 right after the other, about 2 weeks ago and had to be induced into a coma because of the huge amount of blood resulting from brain damage. I don't know all the correct terminology, but I was told that Grace's mom is going to have to make a decision really soon of whether or not to pull him from life support.
My heart just ached for Grace when I heard that.
On Sunday--Father's Day--Grace showed up with the other 3rd graders. During the morning, as we moved rooms from the memory verse to singing to a Bible story lesson to a craft, we talked about God's power and how we can resist our sin and our adversary the devil by trusting in God's strength. Jesus is our Comforter and our Protector when difficult situations around us seem impossible to escape from.
I noticed Grace was holding a homemade card and I asked her about it. She said another little girl in the class had made it to give to her daddy who was sick, but not til yesterday did I learn more details of how serious it was.
What a precious blessing Grace's mom has in the form of her daughter. A beautiful, sweet, gentle, and caring daughter. A little girl named Grace. How fitting, as this woman is losing her husband, being left to care for their only child alone. (Grace, apparently, was a miracle baby because her parents couldn't get pregnant for the longest time, and her parents are in their 50s). But the point is that God is the giver of all grace, and he has given much to this hurting family. This is probably one of the hardest things they have ever had to deal with in life so far (especially for a 9 year old), and yet our Father in heaven promises to never leave our side and to always be there for us in times of trial.
Father...be ever-present as Grace loses her earthly father. Keep her safe in your arms and comfort her little heart as her mom tells her what's going on with daddy. Bless this family with your grace and your peace that goes beyond what we understand. Let them rely on you to sustain them, and comfort them with your Word the way only you can. Remind us to live each day, each moment for you, since we never know when you will take your children home.
Friday, June 19, 2009
grandma
today i spent several solid hours cleaning my grandma's house. earlier is better for her because later in the day she gets headaches and has to lay down, being too worn out to do much. my uncle and his 5 year old daughter live there too, so i actually was "cinderella's maid," while my cousin dragged her dolls and toys around the house, begging for attention. kinda funny how you can (sometimes) convince kids that work can be fun. so while "cinderella" rode the train back and forth from the living room to the front room, i cleaned, occasionally stopping to get on the couch--i mean the train--for the next stop. we even had a tea party for lunch and i got to talk to her about Jesus, which i was really excited about, though she didn't have much interest.
anyways, as i washed windows and vacuumed cobwebs and scrubbed floors, i thought about my grandma. my grandma's a talker and an actress, a country gal and a movie star. she's stubborn but generous. she worries a lot. she loves chocolate and coke. she's the center of attention, and yet i think she's still very lonely at times. she's talked before about how she "goes to church" and "prays every night for so-and-so's life because it's so messed up," but i wonder if she really understood today when we talked about the heart and how God sees and knows our deepest thoughts and motivations and desires. i often get the feeling that that's fine for you but i'm comfortable in my religion the way it is. her words and actions contradict each other all the time, and i wish so much that she would give her life to Jesus. i'm not the one to judge her relationship with Christ, but it is evident that she's searching for something more to life--she's just not sure if she wants to accept the cold hard truth. the truth that Jesus stated over and over again, so clearly: there's only one way to be saved and that's by surrendering to him, by giving our lives to him.
sometimes when i'm over there at her house, i get angry in my heart. i become bitter inside, wishing she would stand up when she's being taken advantage of and see the reality of situations or decisions. i think to myself, God why cant she see how stupid that is? why is it so hard for her to accept this? wont you please break her pride and show her how wrong she is?
but today, i wasnt angry or bitter. i was saddened and burdened for her. i may only have a few more years with my grandma and then she might be gone forever...like, forever. and only the Lord knows where her heart's truly at. but i almost teared up today because my grandma just doesn't get it. everytime i clean for her, she always has to pay me or compensate somehow. as i was leaving, she pressed a check into my hands saying "you deserve this--now don't you argue with me." and i looked back at her and said, "grandma, the next time i come over i dont want you to pay me. i want to do this for free. because i'm your granddaughter and i love you." she has such a hard time accepting something free, and i think it's much the same way with Jesus. it's too hard to imagine Someone giving up their life for me--a rotten sinful person--so there must be something i can do to make up for it. something to balance it out, to make me feel better about it, something that i am responsible to do in order to gain the promise of eternal life.
no dear grandma, it's free.
forgiving and sacrificing Abba, grant me more compassion for my grandma. change my heart of frustration to one of love and service, even when she doesn't understand. Abba please, please change her...save her soul and call her your daughter. enlighten her heart to see you for who you really are. break the pride that's keeping her from accepting your mercy and grace. you know her better than anyone else knows her, better than she knows herself. peel away the layers that are trying to keep you out God, and renew her. let me be faithful to check on her more often and see how she's doing spiritually, and pray for her every day. create compassion in me for her, Abba, and a deep desire to give you praise, no matter what happens.
anyways, as i washed windows and vacuumed cobwebs and scrubbed floors, i thought about my grandma. my grandma's a talker and an actress, a country gal and a movie star. she's stubborn but generous. she worries a lot. she loves chocolate and coke. she's the center of attention, and yet i think she's still very lonely at times. she's talked before about how she "goes to church" and "prays every night for so-and-so's life because it's so messed up," but i wonder if she really understood today when we talked about the heart and how God sees and knows our deepest thoughts and motivations and desires. i often get the feeling that that's fine for you but i'm comfortable in my religion the way it is. her words and actions contradict each other all the time, and i wish so much that she would give her life to Jesus. i'm not the one to judge her relationship with Christ, but it is evident that she's searching for something more to life--she's just not sure if she wants to accept the cold hard truth. the truth that Jesus stated over and over again, so clearly: there's only one way to be saved and that's by surrendering to him, by giving our lives to him.
sometimes when i'm over there at her house, i get angry in my heart. i become bitter inside, wishing she would stand up when she's being taken advantage of and see the reality of situations or decisions. i think to myself, God why cant she see how stupid that is? why is it so hard for her to accept this? wont you please break her pride and show her how wrong she is?
but today, i wasnt angry or bitter. i was saddened and burdened for her. i may only have a few more years with my grandma and then she might be gone forever...like, forever. and only the Lord knows where her heart's truly at. but i almost teared up today because my grandma just doesn't get it. everytime i clean for her, she always has to pay me or compensate somehow. as i was leaving, she pressed a check into my hands saying "you deserve this--now don't you argue with me." and i looked back at her and said, "grandma, the next time i come over i dont want you to pay me. i want to do this for free. because i'm your granddaughter and i love you." she has such a hard time accepting something free, and i think it's much the same way with Jesus. it's too hard to imagine Someone giving up their life for me--a rotten sinful person--so there must be something i can do to make up for it. something to balance it out, to make me feel better about it, something that i am responsible to do in order to gain the promise of eternal life.
no dear grandma, it's free.
forgiving and sacrificing Abba, grant me more compassion for my grandma. change my heart of frustration to one of love and service, even when she doesn't understand. Abba please, please change her...save her soul and call her your daughter. enlighten her heart to see you for who you really are. break the pride that's keeping her from accepting your mercy and grace. you know her better than anyone else knows her, better than she knows herself. peel away the layers that are trying to keep you out God, and renew her. let me be faithful to check on her more often and see how she's doing spiritually, and pray for her every day. create compassion in me for her, Abba, and a deep desire to give you praise, no matter what happens.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
extras in life
it's so easy to lose sight of the fact that life is not about me. as i go through the day i think about myself, my desires, my future...seldom do i stop and try to grasp how wonderful God is or think about the amazing ways he displays himself. "oh sure God, yeah i read this part of the bible when i was in israel so i totally know what it's talking about here. i dont really need to focus on it right now." i read the bible and pray so selfishly, only asking for my own requests or for God to answer something the way i want him to, walking away thinking how i need to change something, then totally forget about it 2 minutes later.
but no...life's not about me. i'm just an "extra" in life, when God is the main character, the hero, the one to beat all odds. true--a loved and cherished "extra," one who was given a purpose in life. but definitely not the main character (at privileged times i'm aware of how thankful i am that i'm not). i sure have a habit of making a mess of things. and yet i still continue to act like I'm the one in charge, I'm the authority, I deserve sympathy, my needs are more important than someone else's.
what in the world am i thinking?? God allowed his Son--his only Son--to be murdered so that i would be saved from the wrath of God against my awful, horrid sin. how dare i stand up to him and say that i know better than he does! how dare i tell the Director how to run things when all i get is a 2 second shot in the background of God's masterpiece production...life is fragile and short. much shorter than we imagine or actually believe. we think we're so much more important than we really are. and yes, we're important to God, but it's not our business to boast of ourselves when we owe everything to him.
i've been so humbled lately by how much i dont know, how helpless i am on my own, how vast the knowledge and character of God are. there are days when i just want to spend all my time reading his precious words to me and soaking them in and treasuring them. i panic, thinking i wont have enough time to finish studying everything during however many years i have left on earth. and no, i wont. i never will truly, fully, completely understand until the days of heaven.
but oh precious Father teach me to remember my frailty before you--that You are to be praised and magnified and lifted up and honored and glorified through my life. no matter what joys or sorrows i go through, they're all still in that tiny 2 second shot and dont compare to you. let me reflect you in all things. while i'm washing my face in the morning, cleaning the house, washing dishes, making phone calls, driving in the car, talking to my sisters, sending emails, making dinner, lying on my bed at night trying to fall asleep. please oh Father, let my life point to yours only, not my own.
but no...life's not about me. i'm just an "extra" in life, when God is the main character, the hero, the one to beat all odds. true--a loved and cherished "extra," one who was given a purpose in life. but definitely not the main character (at privileged times i'm aware of how thankful i am that i'm not). i sure have a habit of making a mess of things. and yet i still continue to act like I'm the one in charge, I'm the authority, I deserve sympathy, my needs are more important than someone else's.
what in the world am i thinking?? God allowed his Son--his only Son--to be murdered so that i would be saved from the wrath of God against my awful, horrid sin. how dare i stand up to him and say that i know better than he does! how dare i tell the Director how to run things when all i get is a 2 second shot in the background of God's masterpiece production...life is fragile and short. much shorter than we imagine or actually believe. we think we're so much more important than we really are. and yes, we're important to God, but it's not our business to boast of ourselves when we owe everything to him.
i've been so humbled lately by how much i dont know, how helpless i am on my own, how vast the knowledge and character of God are. there are days when i just want to spend all my time reading his precious words to me and soaking them in and treasuring them. i panic, thinking i wont have enough time to finish studying everything during however many years i have left on earth. and no, i wont. i never will truly, fully, completely understand until the days of heaven.
but oh precious Father teach me to remember my frailty before you--that You are to be praised and magnified and lifted up and honored and glorified through my life. no matter what joys or sorrows i go through, they're all still in that tiny 2 second shot and dont compare to you. let me reflect you in all things. while i'm washing my face in the morning, cleaning the house, washing dishes, making phone calls, driving in the car, talking to my sisters, sending emails, making dinner, lying on my bed at night trying to fall asleep. please oh Father, let my life point to yours only, not my own.
Monday, June 15, 2009
pain
it's so hard to breathe right now God...keep me safe through the night. take the pain and let me breathe.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
pride
i disgust myself sometimes. the pride i find in who i am or who i'm not, what i believe or dont believe, and why or why not...it's seriously just gross. i was reminded of this horrible, nasty pride tonight after going to a girls bible study through my church.
i've told my parents and several friends from college that as i go home this summer, i feel like "i dont have any friends back home." my closest friends as well as everyone else i stay in contact with are all pretty much from college, and i only communicate regularly with 1 girlfriend from way back when (who i get to see saturday after months, yay). but everyone else it seems has gone a different path in life, or just doesnt cross schedules and 'groups' with mine anymore. and so this seemingly believable lie has crept into my thinking, making me too prideful to even consider making friends in my hometown, because "i'll be leaving in a few months anyways so why bother?"
how sick is that?? i thought about the girls at the bible study tonight and to be honest, my initial reaction when i arrived was "well they're nice girls but i dont think i'll ever really know them that well...i mean, they're not really my kind of people." well as i brushed my teeth tonight i thought, "would Jesus ever say that? would he refuse to open up and be himself and get to know others because he had a limited amount of time with them, or because they just werent his kind of people?"
sure i may not know them well. sure i'm only home for 2 more months until i leave again. but does that give me any excuse to not be a friend to others? it's kinda funny too, because several of the girls i chatted with are also "home for the summer," so i wonder how many of them feel the same way (they're all, by the way, sweet and friendly girls). who cares about all those stupid excuses! the point is that my attitude of pride and selfishness and self-pity have warped my view of the truth. and the truth is that no matter who they are--followers of Jesus or not, loveable people or not, people like me or not--i'm called (and privileged) to love them as Jesus does. [not that i have a particular dislike for anyone, but more that i realize i am to love others because of the love God has shown me].
God, there are so many problems with me. i have so many faults and failures, but i thank you again tonight for revealing another one in a gentle yet humbling way for me to see. thank you for not just showing me my sin, but for showing me the right response. as our study this summer is on your "crazy love" for us, i ask you would bless me with the ability and desire to love others without showing favoritism or prejudice. thanks for giving me a chance to start fresh in the morning. i love you Lord. :)
i've told my parents and several friends from college that as i go home this summer, i feel like "i dont have any friends back home." my closest friends as well as everyone else i stay in contact with are all pretty much from college, and i only communicate regularly with 1 girlfriend from way back when (who i get to see saturday after months, yay). but everyone else it seems has gone a different path in life, or just doesnt cross schedules and 'groups' with mine anymore. and so this seemingly believable lie has crept into my thinking, making me too prideful to even consider making friends in my hometown, because "i'll be leaving in a few months anyways so why bother?"
how sick is that?? i thought about the girls at the bible study tonight and to be honest, my initial reaction when i arrived was "well they're nice girls but i dont think i'll ever really know them that well...i mean, they're not really my kind of people." well as i brushed my teeth tonight i thought, "would Jesus ever say that? would he refuse to open up and be himself and get to know others because he had a limited amount of time with them, or because they just werent his kind of people?"
sure i may not know them well. sure i'm only home for 2 more months until i leave again. but does that give me any excuse to not be a friend to others? it's kinda funny too, because several of the girls i chatted with are also "home for the summer," so i wonder how many of them feel the same way (they're all, by the way, sweet and friendly girls). who cares about all those stupid excuses! the point is that my attitude of pride and selfishness and self-pity have warped my view of the truth. and the truth is that no matter who they are--followers of Jesus or not, loveable people or not, people like me or not--i'm called (and privileged) to love them as Jesus does. [not that i have a particular dislike for anyone, but more that i realize i am to love others because of the love God has shown me].
God, there are so many problems with me. i have so many faults and failures, but i thank you again tonight for revealing another one in a gentle yet humbling way for me to see. thank you for not just showing me my sin, but for showing me the right response. as our study this summer is on your "crazy love" for us, i ask you would bless me with the ability and desire to love others without showing favoritism or prejudice. thanks for giving me a chance to start fresh in the morning. i love you Lord. :)
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
wait, what?
one of those questions that jolt you and make you think twice.
what are you dwelling on as you fall asleep tonight, and what thoughts will be on your mind as you wake up tomorrow morning?
i think i'm going to mentally go through the armor of God and try to remember everything i can from the sermon i listened to this morning by rick holland on ephesians 6.
what are you dwelling on as you fall asleep tonight, and what thoughts will be on your mind as you wake up tomorrow morning?
i think i'm going to mentally go through the armor of God and try to remember everything i can from the sermon i listened to this morning by rick holland on ephesians 6.
Monday, June 8, 2009
trust
well...here i am, home for a month now, and still no job. i've had multiple people call me after turning in resumes and applications, wanting to do interviews or get additional information and all that, and several of them visibly interested. but everytime it seems like something's going to work and i think to myself, "finally Lord! thank you for allowing this one to work," either they call back saying they're actually not hiring anymore or else they dont call back at all.
sigh....i asked God to teach me to trust him this summer and i think he's answering my request, though not in a way i had hoped. i mean, it's definitely good to be put in a situation where you feel kinda helpless and you know that God is the only one who can actually make things happen, but when your finite, controlling, realistic-thinking brain says "okay heather...you really need to step on it and come up with something. how are you going to pay for more school, and rent, and a car, and other things that come up?" then you know you really have to start making yourself believe that God's in control of things.
i guess the best part about not having a job is that i've gotten in a lot of good reading time. a couple of the books i'm going through right now are Acts, Psalms, Reflections on the Psalms (by CS Lewis), Becoming a Woman of Spiritual Passion (by Donna Morley), Faithful Women and their Extraordinary God (by Noel Piper), Calm My Anxious Heart (by Linda Dillow), and 31 Days Toward Intimacy with God (by Joni Eareckson Tada). plus there are a ton more on the living room bookshelves that i really would love to read, so we'll how much i can pump out during the summer weeks.
so don't just pray that "i'll get a job." pray that i'll trust. pray that i will give up my desire to control (schedules, finances, time, etc). pray that i'll be like the widow who trusted that God would provide the oil and flour she needed each day to stay alive. that i'd wake up each morning ready to give the day to Christ and wait eagerly for how he'll work, whether he provides a job or not. and that i'd find joy in trusting God's perfect plans. :)
sigh....i asked God to teach me to trust him this summer and i think he's answering my request, though not in a way i had hoped. i mean, it's definitely good to be put in a situation where you feel kinda helpless and you know that God is the only one who can actually make things happen, but when your finite, controlling, realistic-thinking brain says "okay heather...you really need to step on it and come up with something. how are you going to pay for more school, and rent, and a car, and other things that come up?" then you know you really have to start making yourself believe that God's in control of things.
i guess the best part about not having a job is that i've gotten in a lot of good reading time. a couple of the books i'm going through right now are Acts, Psalms, Reflections on the Psalms (by CS Lewis), Becoming a Woman of Spiritual Passion (by Donna Morley), Faithful Women and their Extraordinary God (by Noel Piper), Calm My Anxious Heart (by Linda Dillow), and 31 Days Toward Intimacy with God (by Joni Eareckson Tada). plus there are a ton more on the living room bookshelves that i really would love to read, so we'll how much i can pump out during the summer weeks.
so don't just pray that "i'll get a job." pray that i'll trust. pray that i will give up my desire to control (schedules, finances, time, etc). pray that i'll be like the widow who trusted that God would provide the oil and flour she needed each day to stay alive. that i'd wake up each morning ready to give the day to Christ and wait eagerly for how he'll work, whether he provides a job or not. and that i'd find joy in trusting God's perfect plans. :)
Sunday, June 7, 2009
great sermons
Here's an link to Grace Community Church's college group Crossroads and sermons preached there for the last 10 years+....awesome resource!
http://www.gracechurch.org/crossroads/mp3search.asp
http://www.gracechurch.org/crossroads/mp3search.asp
Saturday, June 6, 2009
song in my head today
"Magnificent Obsession" by Steven Curtis Chapman
Lord, You know how much
I want to know so much
In the way of answers and explanations
I have cried and prayed
And still I seem to stay
In the middle of life's complications
All this pursuing leaves me feeling like I'm chasing down the wind
But now it's brought me back to You
And I can see again
This is everything I want
This is everything I need
I want this to be my one consuming passion
Everything my heart desires
Lord, I want it all to be for You, Jesus
Be my magnificent obsession
So capture my heart again
Take me to depths I've never been
Into the riches of Your grace and Your mercy
Return me to the cross
And let me be completely lost
In the wonder of the love
That You've shown me
Cut through these chains that tie me down to so many lesser things
Let all my dreams fall to the ground
Until this one remains
You are everything I want
And You are everything I need
Lord, You are all my heart desires
You are everything to me
You are everything I want
You are everything I need
I want You to be my one consuming passion
Everything my heart desires
Lord, I want it all to be for You
I want it all to be for You
Lord, You know how much
I want to know so much
In the way of answers and explanations
I have cried and prayed
And still I seem to stay
In the middle of life's complications
All this pursuing leaves me feeling like I'm chasing down the wind
But now it's brought me back to You
And I can see again
This is everything I want
This is everything I need
I want this to be my one consuming passion
Everything my heart desires
Lord, I want it all to be for You, Jesus
Be my magnificent obsession
So capture my heart again
Take me to depths I've never been
Into the riches of Your grace and Your mercy
Return me to the cross
And let me be completely lost
In the wonder of the love
That You've shown me
Cut through these chains that tie me down to so many lesser things
Let all my dreams fall to the ground
Until this one remains
You are everything I want
And You are everything I need
Lord, You are all my heart desires
You are everything to me
You are everything I want
You are everything I need
I want You to be my one consuming passion
Everything my heart desires
Lord, I want it all to be for You
I want it all to be for You
Friday, June 5, 2009
rain
i love the rain...just love it.
last night it rained--poured actually--but i was asleep and missed it. :( and i so wish it would rain again right now and i could wrap up in my warm blanket, sit by the window and watch it while reading a good book and drinking something hot. but i doubt that'll happen, even if it's a little overcast.
thinking about the rain, my thoughts go back to my time in israel and the times it rained there. not just the times it rained while i lived there, but back in the days of old and what the significance of that was. rain was so important to the growth of the land, to the economy of israel...it still is i suppose. so many times in the bible, God talks about blessing the land by watering it, showing that this was a symbol of God's blessing as well as obedience of the nation. not that they had to obey and please him in order to grow the land--he causes the rain to fall on the righteous and the unrighteous--but rather this was a sign of God's covenant and promise to be with them always, and just as the land needed constant rain for growth, so also do we need to constantly depend on him for everything.
i notice that sometimes the rain can seem drizzly and ugly and depressing, but afterwards it clears the air so you can see the mountains more clearly. and so it is with life. though you go through tough spots, you have to keep in perspective that brighter days are ahead. days to love and serve others, days of increased joy and deeper understanding of who Jesus is because we'll have a more clear picture of him. and God tells us, assures us, " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declared the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:11-13).
last night it rained--poured actually--but i was asleep and missed it. :( and i so wish it would rain again right now and i could wrap up in my warm blanket, sit by the window and watch it while reading a good book and drinking something hot. but i doubt that'll happen, even if it's a little overcast.
thinking about the rain, my thoughts go back to my time in israel and the times it rained there. not just the times it rained while i lived there, but back in the days of old and what the significance of that was. rain was so important to the growth of the land, to the economy of israel...it still is i suppose. so many times in the bible, God talks about blessing the land by watering it, showing that this was a symbol of God's blessing as well as obedience of the nation. not that they had to obey and please him in order to grow the land--he causes the rain to fall on the righteous and the unrighteous--but rather this was a sign of God's covenant and promise to be with them always, and just as the land needed constant rain for growth, so also do we need to constantly depend on him for everything.
i notice that sometimes the rain can seem drizzly and ugly and depressing, but afterwards it clears the air so you can see the mountains more clearly. and so it is with life. though you go through tough spots, you have to keep in perspective that brighter days are ahead. days to love and serve others, days of increased joy and deeper understanding of who Jesus is because we'll have a more clear picture of him. and God tells us, assures us, " 'For I know the plans I have for you,' declared the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart" (Jeremiah 29:11-13).
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