8:31:10

it's nostalgic for the future
it's a dream i can't see
it's like trying to fill a pitcher
with the ripples of the sea
don't know where it's all going
or if it'll ever be
but once upon a time
i thought i could foresee
oh the waves keep crashing over
and yet they hold the key
to unlock the secrets hidden
in the deepest parts of me
i'm giving it all up now
falling down upon my knee
'cause where tears and joy are blended
is the place i need to be
what have i done to merit
all the favor blessed by He
when my heart is so deceitful
yet He hung upon that tree
let me now forsake the future
what i will or will not see
as i walk the path with eyes closed
my faith trusting firm in thee.


H

diamonds of wisdom

so many words remain unspoken
some of which will never be
and others whose time has not yet come.
the thoughts that flood my heart tonight
would fill the pages of a novel
and yet
there they will stay
until i discover when and where and how
to communicate them,
and for now, all i can do is show with my hands, my feet
[yet in part, not in full]
and though i try to understand it all,
i cannot.
why my soul is bursting at the seams
why sleep flees from me in the dark hours
why the battle between the truth and emotions rages on.

my desire is to please Him who gives me breath each morning
but how does life fit into this?
how do i counsel the girl with a broken heart and pleading eyes?
how do i laugh with him and yet guard my heart?
how do i train her young mind to forsake the pleasures of the world?
what do i say to her whom i admire but who is struggling?
and how do i know which path to walk in quiet submission and trust?

oh how i crave wisdom!
i desire not beauty and knowledge and fame,
but a discerning heart
to know how to wrestle with these things
and to walk out of the fire chiseled and shaped
into a reflective diamond
letting the brilliance of His touch
bring rainbows on the wall,
outshining all else.


H

the lake

it was gorgeous out there by the lake tonight.

everything was silent, except the steady water
trickling out the sides of lined pathways.
in the air, the moon shone her blurred, milky luster
reflecting on the dark ripples of the lake.

it's one of my favorite places to visit--
that bridgeport lake--
with its regal lighthouse and gentle breeze,
even after nine.
i love leaning over the edge of the rail and just staring into the distance
hunting for my special constellation,
as well as others, like the big dipper tonight.
i love the serenity,
and being able to amble down the bridge
without a thought of where i ought to be
or what i ought to be doing.

sometimes, you just need an escape place
one that you will only go to with those close friends
as you share your secret thrills with them
and yet, only some will understand you,
for most know not the breathtaking reward of the little wooden bridge
surrounded by perfect houses.
it's a place where i can have conversations with no one in particular
or talk to He who listens from the night sky
to pour out my thoughts, my concerns, my fears and joys
and to wait patiently for Him to respond.

what also fascinates me
is the contrast you find within a few yards of the bridge--
for another bridge stands, guarding one entrance to the majestic lighthouse,
and from here i stopped and observed the cars of newhall ranch road
speeding back and forth, practically all in a hurry,
and the color of the streets changed from yellow to red to green.
a small glimpse of the city, and yet behind me is the quiet lake
with 2 ducks softly swaying along together.
how utterly beautiful!

goodnight, my special spot.
and when i need to share smiles or tears with you
i will visit again.


H