single

"no i'm not dating right now"....."yes, i'd love to get married someday"....."well yes, sometimes i feel lonely, but overall i'm very content, thanks".....

in our day and age, it's considered "weird" if you enjoy being single...as if you're not "complete" without a guy, or that you deserve pity, or that "oh don't worry sweetie--your day will come soon." i appreciate those people who try to make me "feel better" about being single, but honestly, i don't appreciate those comments. it's as if they're saying, "once you find a man in your life, you'll be truly happy."

to be frank and honest, that's biblically not true. there are so many people in the world who have been disillusioned by this idea, it's kinda scary sometimes. they're great Christian people who love the Lord dearly, but have this false sense of satisfaction in the dreams of spending their life with that special someone. look, if you can't be content and happy being single (and by that i mean not married---even if you're dating, you're still technically single), you will never find true contentment/happiness. i could go into a big discussion about that idea, but i won't right now...maybe sometime later i will though. the point is that Jesus is who I, as a believer and follower of Him, should be giving up my cross to follow, not another person. this doesn't rule out the fact that God sovereignly and amazingly gave us a desire to love and be with someone of the opposite sex for long-term life commitment. that's a perfectly good desire, for which he wired us. but, too many people are deceived by their own hearts and mistake discontentment for biblical desire. and yes, you have to dig down deep in your heart to find which one is true of you.

well, that's not really what i was planning to write about...sorry. [not like i need to apologize or be talking to a computer anyways, haha]...
what's really been on my heart lately is that as a single young woman, i have incredible opportunities. and you know, right now i am happy and content with that, and i'm serious. i think i've blogged before, i'm not one of those girls who break up with a guy and then have this angry/determined/self-pitying "i'm just going to be single the rest of my life" mentality. no, i'm pretty sure i'll get married someday. but God has been bringing me to a point where he is opening my eyes to all that i have in front of me at this chapter in the book. i have opportunities to go over to families' houses and hang out with them and their kids and not worry about when i have to/should leave. i can make dinners for families or couples in my church who need it on a spur-of the moment basis (something that's harder to coordinate when you're married and have kids). i can pick up my girlfriends who dont have cars and go to the beach or griffith observatory or just have coffee. i can be involved in church and stay all 3 morning services if needed, and come back for missions meetings that go over the time planned for them. i can host people over to my house and help plan bridal showers or baby showers or other events. i can plan curriculum for teaching in another country and make time to be trained and counseled in prep for that.

and i'm loving it. i'm loving being able to do these things and enjoy them. sure, there are moments and days when being single is hard, especially when you've dated in the past and know what it's like. but for 1) i'm so thankful i'm out of the last particular relationship and don't ever want to go back to it, and 2) i'm not here to whine about those days. i'll save that for my close friends, family, and mentors when i need them to speak truth to me and get me back on track with the right focus. really, truly, honestly, i'm finding so much joy in where God has placed me right now. and that ultimately comes--not from my circumstances--but from constant, real communication and relationship with the Lord. there have been times when i've published blog posts that are full of questions and confusion, but i know where my hope is found. there are times when it comes across to the world that i am done and want to give up, but in my heart, i know that God is always with me and wants me to keep fighting the fight and running the race with his help [more like only by his help]--whatever the struggle might be. but right now, he has blessed me with true joy in serving him. i'm not worried about the future because he promises to take care of my needs and direct my steps. and as cliche as it sounds, i can't rush that. what God wants to accomplish in my life, he will do in his timing. and for now, that looks like jumping in full-time to ministry in my church, my workplace, relationships with the people i know, and other areas.

i've been studying philippians at bible study, and i just love chapter 4. there's so much to learn and remind myself of. the whole book is centered around the theme of joy in the Lord (and thankfulness, which is a circular cause and effect of joy). the Lord promises so much good to those who love him (yeah, maybe that doesn't look like the best circumstances but he uses it for his good). and true joy comes when you're content in where God has placed you.

for me, i belong right here. serving at church, working/teaching at school, and pursuing india. i couldnt ask for more.


H