my heart is so proud
my mind is so unfocused
i see the things You do through me as great things i have done
and now You gently break me, then lovingly You take me
and hold me as my father and mold me as my maker
i ask you, "how many times will you pick me up, when i keep on letting you down?
and each time i will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abound?"
and you answer, " My child, I love you
and as long as you're seeking My face,
you'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace"
at times i may grow weak and feel a bit discouraged
knowing that someone, somewhere could do a better job
for who am i to serve You? i know i don't deserve You
and that's the part that burns in my heart and keeps me hanging on
i ask you, "how many times will you pick me up, when i keep on letting you down?
and each time i will fall short of Your glory, how far will forgiveness abound?"
and you answer, " My child, I love you
and as long as you're seeking My face,
you'll walk in the pow'r of My daily sufficient grace"
as i walk with You, i'm learning what Your grace really means
the price that i could never pay was paid at calvary
so instead of trying to repay You, i'm learning to simply obey You
by giving up my life to you for all that You've given to me
laura story
"grace"
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
8:31:10
it's nostalgic for the future
it's a dream i can't see
it's like trying to fill a pitcher
with the ripples of the sea
don't know where it's all going
or if it'll ever be
but once upon a time
i thought i could foresee
oh the waves keep crashing over
and yet they hold the key
to unlock the secrets hidden
in the deepest parts of me
i'm giving it all up now
falling down upon my knee
'cause where tears and joy are blended
is the place i need to be
what have i done to merit
all the favor blessed by He
when my heart is so deceitful
yet He hung upon that tree
let me now forsake the future
what i will or will not see
as i walk the path with eyes closed
my faith trusting firm in thee.
H
it's a dream i can't see
it's like trying to fill a pitcher
with the ripples of the sea
don't know where it's all going
or if it'll ever be
but once upon a time
i thought i could foresee
oh the waves keep crashing over
and yet they hold the key
to unlock the secrets hidden
in the deepest parts of me
i'm giving it all up now
falling down upon my knee
'cause where tears and joy are blended
is the place i need to be
what have i done to merit
all the favor blessed by He
when my heart is so deceitful
yet He hung upon that tree
let me now forsake the future
what i will or will not see
as i walk the path with eyes closed
my faith trusting firm in thee.
H
Sunday, August 29, 2010
diamonds of wisdom
so many words remain unspoken
some of which will never be
and others whose time has not yet come.
the thoughts that flood my heart tonight
would fill the pages of a novel
and yet
there they will stay
until i discover when and where and how
to communicate them,
and for now, all i can do is show with my hands, my feet
[yet in part, not in full]
and though i try to understand it all,
i cannot.
why my soul is bursting at the seams
why sleep flees from me in the dark hours
why the battle between the truth and emotions rages on.
my desire is to please Him who gives me breath each morning
but how does life fit into this?
how do i counsel the girl with a broken heart and pleading eyes?
how do i laugh with him and yet guard my heart?
how do i train her young mind to forsake the pleasures of the world?
what do i say to her whom i admire but who is struggling?
and how do i know which path to walk in quiet submission and trust?
oh how i crave wisdom!
i desire not beauty and knowledge and fame,
but a discerning heart
to know how to wrestle with these things
and to walk out of the fire chiseled and shaped
into a reflective diamond
letting the brilliance of His touch
bring rainbows on the wall,
outshining all else.
H
some of which will never be
and others whose time has not yet come.
the thoughts that flood my heart tonight
would fill the pages of a novel
and yet
there they will stay
until i discover when and where and how
to communicate them,
and for now, all i can do is show with my hands, my feet
[yet in part, not in full]
and though i try to understand it all,
i cannot.
why my soul is bursting at the seams
why sleep flees from me in the dark hours
why the battle between the truth and emotions rages on.
my desire is to please Him who gives me breath each morning
but how does life fit into this?
how do i counsel the girl with a broken heart and pleading eyes?
how do i laugh with him and yet guard my heart?
how do i train her young mind to forsake the pleasures of the world?
what do i say to her whom i admire but who is struggling?
and how do i know which path to walk in quiet submission and trust?
oh how i crave wisdom!
i desire not beauty and knowledge and fame,
but a discerning heart
to know how to wrestle with these things
and to walk out of the fire chiseled and shaped
into a reflective diamond
letting the brilliance of His touch
bring rainbows on the wall,
outshining all else.
H
Friday, August 20, 2010
the lake
it was gorgeous out there by the lake tonight.
everything was silent, except the steady water
trickling out the sides of lined pathways.
in the air, the moon shone her blurred, milky luster
reflecting on the dark ripples of the lake.
it's one of my favorite places to visit--
that bridgeport lake--
with its regal lighthouse and gentle breeze,
even after nine.
i love leaning over the edge of the rail and just staring into the distance
hunting for my special constellation,
as well as others, like the big dipper tonight.
i love the serenity,
and being able to amble down the bridge
without a thought of where i ought to be
or what i ought to be doing.
sometimes, you just need an escape place
one that you will only go to with those close friends
as you share your secret thrills with them
and yet, only some will understand you,
for most know not the breathtaking reward of the little wooden bridge
surrounded by perfect houses.
it's a place where i can have conversations with no one in particular
or talk to He who listens from the night sky
to pour out my thoughts, my concerns, my fears and joys
and to wait patiently for Him to respond.
what also fascinates me
is the contrast you find within a few yards of the bridge--
for another bridge stands, guarding one entrance to the majestic lighthouse,
and from here i stopped and observed the cars of newhall ranch road
speeding back and forth, practically all in a hurry,
and the color of the streets changed from yellow to red to green.
a small glimpse of the city, and yet behind me is the quiet lake
with 2 ducks softly swaying along together.
how utterly beautiful!
goodnight, my special spot.
and when i need to share smiles or tears with you
i will visit again.
H
everything was silent, except the steady water
trickling out the sides of lined pathways.
in the air, the moon shone her blurred, milky luster
reflecting on the dark ripples of the lake.
it's one of my favorite places to visit--
that bridgeport lake--
with its regal lighthouse and gentle breeze,
even after nine.
i love leaning over the edge of the rail and just staring into the distance
hunting for my special constellation,
as well as others, like the big dipper tonight.
i love the serenity,
and being able to amble down the bridge
without a thought of where i ought to be
or what i ought to be doing.
sometimes, you just need an escape place
one that you will only go to with those close friends
as you share your secret thrills with them
and yet, only some will understand you,
for most know not the breathtaking reward of the little wooden bridge
surrounded by perfect houses.
it's a place where i can have conversations with no one in particular
or talk to He who listens from the night sky
to pour out my thoughts, my concerns, my fears and joys
and to wait patiently for Him to respond.
what also fascinates me
is the contrast you find within a few yards of the bridge--
for another bridge stands, guarding one entrance to the majestic lighthouse,
and from here i stopped and observed the cars of newhall ranch road
speeding back and forth, practically all in a hurry,
and the color of the streets changed from yellow to red to green.
a small glimpse of the city, and yet behind me is the quiet lake
with 2 ducks softly swaying along together.
how utterly beautiful!
goodnight, my special spot.
and when i need to share smiles or tears with you
i will visit again.
H
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
let her be
why don't they understand?
can't they see?
they're tearing me apart with their ignorance
their encouragement is breaking my heart and causing doubts to rise
i was fine, i was victorious
but their questions--over and over--their assumptions
has eaten me away and i can't stand it
why can't they just be silent
and really think before speaking?
i'm sick of it all
they just don't get it
they don't see because their eyes are closed
don't they know what it's taken me?
why can't they stop and try for once
to honestly look at it from my perspective
and take my words for what i really say
i hate the pity, the sympathy
because i'd rather grow by myself
than be stunted by "advice" and "encouragement"
if you're going to do that, then just let me be
turn your hurtful eyes
and say nothing at all.
can't they see?
they're tearing me apart with their ignorance
their encouragement is breaking my heart and causing doubts to rise
i was fine, i was victorious
but their questions--over and over--their assumptions
has eaten me away and i can't stand it
why can't they just be silent
and really think before speaking?
i'm sick of it all
they just don't get it
they don't see because their eyes are closed
don't they know what it's taken me?
why can't they stop and try for once
to honestly look at it from my perspective
and take my words for what i really say
i hate the pity, the sympathy
because i'd rather grow by myself
than be stunted by "advice" and "encouragement"
if you're going to do that, then just let me be
turn your hurtful eyes
and say nothing at all.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Saturday, July 10, 2010
5 minute rain
i just adore the rain
even if it comes and goes in a matter of minutes...
as soon as i heard the pitter-patter of that hot, summer rain
i (literally) ran downstairs and stood outside
smiling and watching it fall
as the sleepy sun sinks down behind the clouds...
and then,
it was gone.
H
even if it comes and goes in a matter of minutes...
as soon as i heard the pitter-patter of that hot, summer rain
i (literally) ran downstairs and stood outside
smiling and watching it fall
as the sleepy sun sinks down behind the clouds...
and then,
it was gone.
H
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
thy mercy
Thy mercy my God is the theme of my song,
The joy of my heart, and the boast of my tongue.
Thy free grace alone, from the first to the last,
Hath won my affection and bound my soul fast.
Without Thy sweet mercy, I could not live here.
Sin would reduce me to utter despair,
But through Thy free goodness, my spirit's revived
And He that first made me still keeps me alive.
Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart,
Which wonders to feel its own hardness depart.
Dissolved by Thy goodness, I fall to the ground
And weep for the praise of the mercy I've found.
Great Father of mercies, Thy goodness I own
In the covenant love of Thy crucified Son.
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
Seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine.
Caedmon's Call
The joy of my heart, and the boast of my tongue.
Thy free grace alone, from the first to the last,
Hath won my affection and bound my soul fast.
Without Thy sweet mercy, I could not live here.
Sin would reduce me to utter despair,
But through Thy free goodness, my spirit's revived
And He that first made me still keeps me alive.
Thy mercy is more than a match for my heart,
Which wonders to feel its own hardness depart.
Dissolved by Thy goodness, I fall to the ground
And weep for the praise of the mercy I've found.
Great Father of mercies, Thy goodness I own
In the covenant love of Thy crucified Son.
All praise to the Spirit, Whose whisper divine
Seals mercy and pardon and righteousness mine.
Caedmon's Call
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
having the right perspective
I will glory in my Redeemer
Whose priceless blood has ransomed me
Mine was the sin that drove the bitter nails
And hung Him on that judgment tree
I will glory in my Redeemer
Who crushed the power of sin and death
My only Savior before the Holy Judge
The Lamb Who is my righteousness
The Lamb Who is my righteousness
I will glory in my Redeemer
MY LIFE HE BOUGHT, MY LOVE HE OWNS
I HAVE NO LONGINGS FOR ANOTHER
I’M SATISFIED IN HIM ALONE
I will glory in my Redeemer
HIS FAITHFULNESS MY STANDING PLACE
Though foes are mighty and rush upon me
My feet are firm, held by His grace
My feet are firm, held by His grace
I will glory in my Redeemer
Who carries me on eagle's wings
He crowns my life with lovingkindness
His triumph song I'll ever sing
I will glory in my Redeemer
Who waits for me at gates of gold
And when He calls me it will be paradise
His face forever to behold
His face forever to behold
Whose priceless blood has ransomed me
Mine was the sin that drove the bitter nails
And hung Him on that judgment tree
I will glory in my Redeemer
Who crushed the power of sin and death
My only Savior before the Holy Judge
The Lamb Who is my righteousness
The Lamb Who is my righteousness
I will glory in my Redeemer
MY LIFE HE BOUGHT, MY LOVE HE OWNS
I HAVE NO LONGINGS FOR ANOTHER
I’M SATISFIED IN HIM ALONE
I will glory in my Redeemer
HIS FAITHFULNESS MY STANDING PLACE
Though foes are mighty and rush upon me
My feet are firm, held by His grace
My feet are firm, held by His grace
I will glory in my Redeemer
Who carries me on eagle's wings
He crowns my life with lovingkindness
His triumph song I'll ever sing
I will glory in my Redeemer
Who waits for me at gates of gold
And when He calls me it will be paradise
His face forever to behold
His face forever to behold
Friday, July 2, 2010
torn
what do i do, Lord? what do you want me to do?
there are so many options vying for my attention, so many paths i could take--and in some respects i want to take--but i cannot travel them all. do You want me to teach? in the states or somewhere else? india? right now or later? should i stay and get more training? should i clear my credential? should i work where i was accepted or keep looking? oh God, please forgive me for my lack of trust in You! forgive me for the many times i tell You what i want to do! let my heart only be to do Your will, not mine! but oh Lord, please make it clear to me, i'm begging You! i am being pulled in so many directions and i need Your wisdom and guidance. i need the counsel of others. break my pride, Father, and look down with patience on Your daughter. let me dwell safely in Your loving arms tonight, Jesus, and fill my mind with thoughts of You, not of worry about the future. You are the God of Abraham, Joshua, Isaiah, Paul, James, Solomon, David, and You led each of them in the way You had chosen. show the way for Your servant, oh Lord. bring me contentment as i learn to forsake everything but You.
H
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