upside down

oh india, my india,

i dont know what to write.
i've tried and started several times
but cant seem to get the words out
who are you?
and what are you like?
will you teach me?
will i see you soon?
my mind has been racing these past few days
and there's so much to surrender
give up
realizing that there's so much more out there
that's more worth it
sometimes you seem a million miles away
and other days you're on the front door step
waiting for me to open
and step out
there are times when my heart pounds
and i fear the future
even our next meeting
but there are other moments
[more often i admit]
when it excites me beyond comprehesible words
and i'm overwhelmed with joy at the thought of what will come
but will it come?
or am i deluding myself?
will i have to wait or will it be soon?
i'm so full of questions
and the answers are so confusing to me
i dont understand which way to go
or how to get where i long to be

but one answer is true, one answer is simple
the Lord will guide me one day at a time
and where he leads, when he leads,
i will follow.


H