she waves goodbye as the last student leaves the room
excited to show mom and dad what they made or did today,
but inside the busy room
she has much to do
much to think about.
what makes a teacher? she wonders
is it the countless hours planning lessons,
making photocopies,
gathering more butcher paper for another chart or song,
grading sums and differences of little fingers?
is it being an actress for them,
goofing off and making physical science interesting?
is it being perhaps the only encouragement they hear,
the gentle backscratch of "good job,"
the warm smile of "i care about you, sweetie"?
is it the glaring look at times,
the consequences of missing recess for not following rules,
role-playing how to respond more respectfully,
and talking of teamwork...again?
is it the sore throat at 2:15pm,
the throbbing headache from bending down
and explaining directions for the 4th time,
the constant dosage of Emergen-C?
is it the tears at home,
the "i can't do this" 's
the fear and feeling of failure,
and periods of wanting to quit?
yes. it's all of these, and so much more.
and it's overwhelming at times,
it's exhausting at times,
quite humbling at times,
but this is her calling
and she's charging forward, determined.
H
Wow, thanks for the poem, Heather. It really touched me. I just want to encourage you by saying that you're not the only one who is definitely struggling and feeling like a failure at times. When you said in class on Monday that you're eating a lot of humble pie I wanted to run over, hug you, and shout "Me too!!". I'm trying to look for the positives, the lessons God is teaching me, and to focus on the absolute fact that God is there, rock-solid, and that He has my good in mind. There are plenty of good things happening, too, but it's easy to lose focus under the high pressure situation of student teaching. Lots of blessing-- but it wouldn't be honest to say that it isn't scary and discouraging, half the time, as well. :)
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