slow down

life...

the fast and furious
racing and speeding down the road
swerving around bends and corners
nonstop
moving
always
on
the
go.

where's the break pedal?
wont let it get outta control, which it isnt yet
but nevertheless
roll the window down
hair flying in your face
with shades on
and lipstick
headed down that road
and soaking in the view
of the world passing by.


watch out life, here i come.

thanks God

so, to keep myself from complaining about today and the negative things that went on--which i'm sorely tempted to explain but won't--i decided to start listing all the positive things that went on or just things i'm thankful for today.

the sun, being able to pray, being able to express myself through tears at times, pictures and video clips of my adorable nephew Isaac, 2 year-old Alicia i live with and our new "hello" game, baby Abby's smiles when i say her name, being 2/3 done teaching unit lessons for the week, God's forgiveness of me, a loving text from Leanne, the Velveteen Rabbit book that Gramma Glenda gave to me to borrow, a working/reliable car, drinkable water with a straw, soup for dinner, my 2 new part-time jobs, the fact that i dont have to teach high school math, the fact that i finished homework before 10pm tonight, comfy jeans, the note sitting on my desk from little 2nd grade Cristina, a 100% on a lesson plan i wrote for class, Nicole Nordeman's album "This Mystery," the anticipation of autumn, thoughts about my family, a tall nonfat iced white mocha from starbucks between classes today, a new study to go through on missions and thought-provoking questions about that, a short facebook post from Adrienne saying she's praying for me, being able to laugh with my professors, peanut M&Ms that were passed around in class, the encouragement of having given a non-believing family in my life a flyer for a church bbq/community day, a short conversation with a caf worker in the bathroom, the fact that i dont have to take my heavy computer to school tomorrow, 4 pillows to prop up against while studying, the healing that God's been doing in my heart both from pain and bitterness, a catchy song from Disney's "Anastasia", the fact that i didnt get sick from the people i live with who were sick yesterday, saying hi to the librarian, the thought of some dear friends of mine even though i havent talked to them in a while, the way the flickering lightbulb in my room stayed on while i was reading instead of turning off randomly, the ability to sit and rest my body physically, the way Terah did my dinner dishes for me, my name which i love, the knowledge that i'm going to call my mom tomorrow and see how she's doing, a solid education, the ability to take contacts out at night to give my eyes a break, God's intense love for me, a marked-up and note-filled Bible that i love and want to keep studying, the fact that i got to talk about the book of Job with the non-Christian boy i tutor, an air-conditioned house,

and i'm pretty sure i could keep going.
but for now i'm going to pack a lunch for tomorrow
and go to bed. :)

lots to do but no complaints

many things--some important, some urgent, some aggravating
pressing for my time and interest
but what i want to do most
in this moment
is to grab my bible and journal
and head out to a quiet park
and pour out all the thoughts swirling in my head

missions
family
teaching
traveling
emotions
work
church
classes
friends
prayer

each having so much to talk about, so much to fill the pages with
but it must wait for now
perhaps til the weekend
when i can write to my heart's content
and not be thinking of 8 other things at the same time

mmm.....come soon, bright morning
i'm waiting to meet you
and tell you about my little life here on earth. :)

real joy

some days you're filled with happiness
not the kind that depends on circumstances
because nothing out of the ordinary happened today
but the kind that comes from inside
the kind that's thankful for pink roses and little ladybugs
the kind that makes you want to smile at the checkout lady at the grocery store
and ask her how her day was
joy that gives you energy to keep going
and enjoy the journey, not just survive it
i love the days
when you can go on and on about the blessings in life
like a new baby nephew
caring, genuine friends who call at 8:26pm to set up a lunch date
or who will chat with you online
though you're both supposed to be doing hw
goodnight hugs and big squinty smiles from a 2 year old
or a book on prayer
and the realization that life is short
and each day is a gift that shouldnt be wasted
on worrying or stressing
there's enough of that in the world

but for me, well....i'd rather laugh and smile tonight.